cut, shuffle, fold

stand, hit, ante up

we play these games

and lose ourselves

in the dealing of the cards

raise, split, bust

the game goes on and on

until we exhaust all that we have

there’s a jealousy that’s eating me up

a violent green entity that consumes me

as i watch others smile and laugh

and enjoy happiness that i can’t

as i read poems and stories of love

and know that i am not wanted in the same way

as i see people live

and remain in a limbo that will carry me to my grave

stop staring at my eyes

i feel like my soul is being bared

as it’s laid before your burning glare

your fixation will be my demise

my bones will turn to dust

as your gaze burns with your trust

Be my light

Guide me out of the darkness that is my mind

And hush the whispers and murmurs of my fears

Stay with me

Hold my hand

And never let go

The silence between us is  a void that consumes all

The unspoken words that are trapped in my mouth

The pleas that die on my lips

The screams that are caught in my throat

All are lost to the soundless abyss

Leaving only my deafening thoughts

To echo around my head

I hate blank pages.

Their white blanks seem to leer at me

As if they are mocking me

For being unable to form a coherent thought

That can adorn their lines.

I want to fill them up

Even if with only gibberish

So I can be judged no more.

I’ve been told to make something of myself

But I know

The only thing I’ll make

Is a mess

I’m afraid of falling.

Not off of a cliff

Or a ledge

But into a bottomless pit.

I’m scared that I’ve found one

Inside of myself

And if I take one step forward

I’ll keep falling

And falling

And falling

And I’ll never stop